How To Talk To Your Child About Sex

A recently released sex education guide stirred controversy with its suggestions that parents should start talking to children about sex from as early as age two. So how early is too early? We weigh up when to talk about sex with your children…

How early?
Many health practitioners suggest that it’s never too early to start talking to your kids about sex. Whether you like it or not, your children will start being exposed to sexual messages from the time they are born, so if you want to set the record straight it’s good to begin the talk early.

How much?
While it may not be appropriate to discuss the inner workings of intercourse with your children at pre-school age, it certainly is a good time to start making them aware of their bodies. Avoid using flowery names to describe sexual organs and help them identify ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’ when they start to become aware of their own body parts. As your children grow, it is only natural that they will begin to ask more questions about the functions of their bodies, so try to be as honest with them as possible or they may seek their information from other (less positive) sources.

Learning the language
It’s important to use the right language when you’re talking to children about sex – while you want to avoid being too flowery, you also want to ensure you don’t overload them with unnecessarily explicit details. The best way to get the language balance right is to borrow a sex education book from your local library. Choose one with diagrams and easy-to-understand pictures for children and use it as an aid to discuss difficult issues with your kids.

Be honest
Telling your children babies come from the ‘stork’ or ‘the cabbage patch’ isn’t going to prepare them adequately for dealing with real life situations where sexual decision making comes into play. Be honest about intercourse and pregnancy and try to help them understand the feelings associated with sex so they can learn to recognise them and control them in situations where they may be tested.

Have you had to deal with educating your child on sex?

15 Member Comments

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ThisIsMe 19 Nov 2018 12:07 PM

I never had these talks from anyone growing up but I am always honest with my girls & explain what I can as simply as I can without overload of info. They both know how babies are really made/ where they come from etc as I don't want them learning rubbish from their friends so we are quite open about everything.

JadaMahon 26 Aug 2020 1:05 AM

my parents talked to me about sex at the age of 13 and I think it was the most appropriate time at 12-14 years old is the time

BeautifulJusty 16 May 2017 8:09 AM

It starts in primary school. I even remember those life education tours/excursions.

Blink182 6 Feb 2013 11:48 AM

Nice!

cherie470 28 Mar 2012 6:56 AM

My daughter is 9 and in year 5 so the sex ed lessons will begin soon. My own mum was so scared of having the talk with me that it just never eventuated. With my own daughter I want her to understand that she can approach me about anything and I will be open and honest with her.

Sung Young 13 Mar 2012 10:52 AM

Hahaha, that's interesting... hopefully my mum never sees this article! :O

beautystar 13 Mar 2012 7:20 AM

I have studied and worked in the medical field so I guess these sort of topics have never been taboo for me. I'm guessing as soon as my sin starts asking questions I'll answer them honestly. Our generation tends to be a bit more open than our parents.

lynx 13 Mar 2012 4:00 AM

Thankfully I have a few years before this talk comes up

AmberB 11 Mar 2012 5:37 AM

Whenever they have questions I think it's best to be honest and just answer them without being weird about it.

Buffynic 7 Mar 2012 3:16 AM

I do think 2 is way too early let them keep there innocence a little longer. I agree to handle the questions as they ask them honestly and to the best of your ability. I also like pixiealsos coment well done mum!!!!

Anonymous (not verified) 12 Jan 2012 1:04 PM

I have always been age appropriately honest with my son and try and help him with the whole subject.

Pixiealso 12 Jan 2012 8:52 AM

When I was a child my mum simply answered any questions I had, without seeming shocked or using dorky psuedonyms for body parts.
The earliest thing I remember her telling me about anything sexual at all was when I was a toddler & she told me to always tell her if any adult did anything which made me feel uncomfortable or 'yucky' and that she would always believe me.

talk-a-lot 12 Jan 2012 12:54 AM

I have a 16 and 11 year old and have had a talk with both of them. These days sex ed in schools starts in grade 5 because kids are developing a lot faster. Girls are getting their periods earlier. From the moment my kids asked questions, I told them the truth. Some things you don't have to go right into detail with but a general answer should be given. My opinion is we should be honest with our kids, the human body is natural as is it's functions, nothing to be ashamed in and honesty does count. It is better our kids are taught the proper facts and not be told fiction in regards to their own bodies.