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Every hilarious beauty tip Dolly Parton has ever blessed us with
Dolly Parton may have given the infamous "Jolene" a musical shoutout for her 'beyond compare'-level of beauty, but TBH if you ask us, it's Dolly herself that posesses such a thing.
Sure, she may not be anyone's go-to for low-key beauty inspo (natural and Dolly don't really run in the same circles), but if you're after a look with a strong lash, a loud lip and hair with as much volume as her music should be played with, she's your girl.
So, without further ado, here are all the weird, wild and wonderful beauty tips Dolly has blessed us with. We don't exactly recommend taking all her advice on board (#4 sure won't do your face any favours), but hey, it wouldn't be Dolly if the tips weren't at least a little eccentric...
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#1: Overdone is a compliment
More is definitely more in Dolly's book, and she isn't afraid to draw inspiration from, er, unique arenas, either. “If I go anywhere, I go in full disguise. I'm afraid somebody will say, ‘Oh, did you see Dolly? She looked like hell.’ I'd rather them say, ‘Did you see Dolly? She's so overdone’. I was kind of influenced by this town tramp. She used to walk down the street, and she had all this yellow, bleached hair, red lips, and real tight clothes. When I was little, I used to just love her when I would go to town. I would say, ‘Isn’t she beautiful?’ And people would say, ‘Oh, she ain’t nothin’ but trash.’ And I said, ‘That’s what I want to be!’ I was always going to wear that makeup. [My] makeup gets a little bit thicker every year.”
#2: You need skill, not a big beauty bill
Dolly doesn't believe in relying on pricey products – it's all about how you work with what you've got. The products that is; not your god-given appearance: “I'm no natural beauty. If I'm gonna have any looks at all, I'm gonna have to create them. You don't need to buy expensive cosmetics; almost anything will do if you know how to apply it.”
#3: Anything can be a beauty product if you believe
Hell, why not do away with the beauty bill altogether? The ever-resourceful Dolly definitely did in her younger years. “Until I was a teenager, I used red pokeberries for lipstick and a burnt matchstick for eyeliner." Um, yikes. "I used honeysuckle for perfume. We were raised in the Pentecostal Church of God and they believed that wearing makeup was sinful. My grandpa Jake, my mama's dad, was a preacher, so I had to sneak around and make myself look all pretty but then wash it off before they caught me. I would paint my eyebrows on. I always had a beauty mark, but I would also make it darker. So a burnt match was good. You’ve got to spit on it after you’ve burnt it." Again, yikes. "I’ve got to tell you, what I used for powder was flour. You’ve got to be careful though, because if you get hot you’ll break out in little biscuits.”
#4: Evening cleanses are overrated
You know how we're always harping on about an effacious cleanse before bed? Dolly's not a fan, preferring not to be caught without her face on, even during the wee hours of the night. “I clean my face in the mornings. You never know if you’re going to wreck the bus, you never know if you’re going to be somewhere in a hotel and there’s going to be a fire. So I leave my makeup on at night and clean my face in the morning.” Ah tour life, so glamorous.
#5: Trust the basics (and bacon grease)
She doesn't mind a buzzy beauty buy these days, but she'll always go back to basics in the end. Well, that and grease... “I try all the new things that come out, but there’s nothing better than good old Vaseline and those Almay eye makeup remover pads. I use those little pads to clean my face and it leaves enough mineral oil on my skin that it’s a good night-time moisturiser. I have pretty good skin considering my age, and I think a lot of it is mineral oil and bacon grease.”
#6: Nip (tuck) issues in the bud
The natural neighbourhood is not one that Dolly wishes to reside in. “Thanks to Botox and fillers, as well as the work that I've already had, my face pretty much maintains itself. I look at myself like a show dog. I've got to keep her clipped and trimmed and in good shape. If I see something sagging, bagging, or dragging, I'll get it nipped, tucked, or sucked. People say I always look happy, I say, ‘That’s the Botox.’ You can have good lighting, good makeup, and good doctors—that’s my secret.”
#7: Get wiggy with it
Dolly's hair has to be one of her most iconic features, and yet, it's not really her hair at all. “My own hair is so flat and fine. I could never make it do anything—that’s why I wear wigs. I think God gave me talent cause he screwed up my hair. I’m not offended by all of the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb and I also know that I’m not blonde. People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair. I don’t know, I’m never there. People say, 'How many wigs do you have?' And I say, 'Well, at least 365 because I wear at least one a day.’”
#8: Never hit the drive-thru without your hair done
Remember her always-be-wearing-makeup mantra? The same goes for her infamous 'do. She'd hate to be caught at McDonalds sans volume, that's for sure. “Even if we're just driving around in our RV camper and hitting all the local fast-food joints I'll tease my hair and put it up in a little scrunchie.”
#9: Claws are technically an instrument
You know those people who just can't stop tapping their talons? Dolly's one of 'em. But hey, she's a musical genius, so we'll let it slide. “My nails are my rhythm section when I’m writing a song all alone. Someday, I may cut an album, just me and my nails.” Now that beautiful body of music (unlike most of this incredible but incredibly unorthodox advice), is something we'd definitely listen to...
Main image credit: Getty Images
What's your favourite piece of Dolly advice?